Memories & Heartbreak
by BB-lover14
Summary: A lovely Castle & Beckett story. Warning: A bit of a tearjerker.


**A/N This is based loosely on a real event that happened to me recently. I hope you enjoy reading it.**

Kate was beaming ear to ear, she had just got a phone call from a close friend called Kim, she had given birth to her twins and they were both doing well. Her friend had had a scary pregnancy obstacles thrown in the way but she had got past them all. Kate couldn't wait to meet the babies. Two girls one weighed 2 pound 4 and the other 2 pound 12. Yes they where small and yes the needed a little bit of extra help but they were here and they seemed to be okay. Born at 28 weeks, Kate knew they would have a long hard to fight to come but for now she was so happy.

Her friend sent her pictures the next day, they both looked so precious and breakable. Their bodies were tiny, their skin a dark red colour as the pigment had not yet formed to give them their true colour. They had tubes in helping them to breath and tubes giving them the nutrients and vitamins they needed to survive. The pictures bought a tears to her eyes, the joy of life combined with the scared feeling of will they be alright.

The days went by, she was updated every day on how well they were doing. One was now off the breathing tube and using a oxygen machine a couple of times throughout the day. The other was having a hard time, things were progressing at a slower pace. Kate prayed and prayed that things would get better.

The best day so far happened a week later her friend called to tell her the news that they were both off the breathing tubes. She also had named them Katie Emma and Danielle Sue. New pictures where sent they looked adorable both laying together holding hands. Things where going very well, the hope now was that they would be home for Christmas. She knew she wouldn't see them until they where allowed out of the high dependency unit.

A couple of weeks passed, the news that came was always positive, Kate carried on with her everyday life, work was good. She was at a party on that Saturday when the awful news came through. She had stepped outside to take the call, wondering what her friend wanted to talk to her about. She answered with a happy tone in her voice, due to having had a wonderful evening with Castle so far.

" Hello Chloe, how are you?"

There was a silence on the other end of the line. Then she heard a tearful voice speak.

"Kate I know you're at a party and I don't want to upset you. I didn't want you to be the last to know, I realised you would hate that…"

Her friend trailed off, Kate became worried….

" Last to know what Chloe, What is it?"

Castle had come out of the party to see what was happening and was standing just behind her. He knew all about the Babies he had been updated all the way along, Kate talked about them a lot. He had even gone shopping for baby clothes with her. She spoke of the day that she would finally meet them. He heard Kate take a deep breath in, her voice cracking as she spoke.

" Thank you Chloe for telling me, I'll speak to you soon."

Kate hung up and she turned to head back into the party, her eyes were glistening with tears. That is when she spotted Castle standing in front of her. She took another deep breath and went to push past him. He wouldn't let that happen he placed his hand on her arm and spun her back to face him. Her bottom lip was trembling she was holding her emotions back. He cupped her chin gently with his right hand, his thumb brushing over her cheek. She automatically leant into his touch.

" Kate tell me what is wrong, what happened?"

The tears that she could no longer hold back begun to trail down her cheeks splashing over his thumb. He placed his other hand on her waist and pulled her into his embrace. He waited a few seconds for her to answer, as she wrapped her arms around his waist. She nestled her face into the crook between his shoulder and neck and he heard her mumble…..

"Danielle died this evening, she couldn't fight the infection she got a couple of days ago any more."

Castle was lost for words, they always knew that the twins would be facing a uphill battle. They had been born 12 weeks early, in theory they should still be growing inside their mother's tummy. They shouldn't be in the outside world yet. He wasn't sure how to comfort Kate she doted on those girls. She had listened to their heartbeats and had felt them kick when they were still in the womb. He pulled her closer if that was at all possible, his hand rubbing up and down her back. Kate sobbed into his shoulder, since being with him she had come to show her emotions more openly. He loved that she had opened up to him but it broke his heart to hear her cry.

"I'm so sorry Kate, I'm so sorry."

He repeated this over and over again and dropped light kisses to the top of head in between talking. They stood there for what seemed like forever, but in reality was a couple of minutes embraced in each other's arms. Eventually Kate lifted her head up and swiped away the tears with her hand. She apologised for crying and he told her not to be so silly, she was allowed to cry. Kate didn't want to go back into the party she just wasn't feeling it anymore, so Castle went back and got their stuff. He called his car service and got them to take them both back to the loft. Kate tried to protest saying she would be fine at hers on her own. However Castle couldn't face leaving her alone after such devastating news.

They walked into the loft shed their coats and shoes not even bothering to put them away. Kate sat down on the couch, while Castle rambled about making her a nice cup of coffee and headed towards the kitchen. She curled her legs up under her, she was still having a hard time processing the whole thing. She wondered if she would wake up in a minute and find that the whole thing was a dream. She was devastated for her friend and her husband at losing one of their children, what would she say to her what could you say after that. She wonders what life would be like growing up alone for Katie would she have a bond with her twin. These thoughts were running through her brain at warp speed and she didn't have answers for any of them. She felt the couch move and looked up to find Castle sitting next to her holding a steaming cup of coffee. She took it from him with a slight smile, their hands brushing as she gripped it. Castle leaned back and sipped his coffee, Kate tucked her self into his side. Once the coffee's were finished she placed the empty cups on the table and leant back into Castle. Head laying on his chest so she could hear his heartbeat which lulled her to sleep. Castle soon followed her in to the world of slumber.

Castle woke up a hour later, a twinge in his neck. He woke Kate up and made them both go to bed.

A week passed, Kate had sent her condolences to her friend. It was the day of the funeral and one of the most horrible days. The funeral had been done beautifully, Danielle may have had a short life but it was a treasured one that was celebrated. The songs played made Kate cry, they even had Castle blubbering. A lovely celebration of a beautiful life. They had passed on going to the wake, it should be for close family only. The boys had covered her shift, not letting Gates know that she had taken the morning off. She went into work that afternoon, Ryan nodded to her before Javi updated her on the case. Castle had gone to a publisher meeting even though he had tried to get out of it. That night they all went for drinks at the old haunted and toasted to Danielle's memory.

Christmas came round and Kate was at work when she got the update that Kim had been allowed to take Katie home for good. She smiled for what seemed like ages after that news. The day was made complete when Castle proposed that night. He had gone with the simple approach which surprised her. He had made her Christmas dinner with his family, then he had got down one knee in front of Martha and Alexis and asked for her hand in marriage. He presented her with a beautiful Engagement ring, not to flashy but still stunning. She had said yes before she even realised, it just slipped out. He had stood up, pulled her up into his arms and kissed her senseless. Once he released her she got a bone crushing from Martha and a similar one from Alexis.

The next day Kim came to see her with Katie in tow. She was the most beautiful thing Kate had ever seen. She could hold her with one arm she was that small. She and Kim talked for hours about the events of the past couple of months, the whole time Kate never put Katie down for more than a few minutes. She told Kim her news and for the first time in awhile she saw Kim smile.

A/N I hope I didn't make you cry to much. This is based on my thoughts and feeling expect i didn't have a Castle to turn to. This story is a tribute to my friend's little girl Danielle Sue who passed away recently. Oct 19th 2012 - Dec 1st 2012. R.I.P our little Angel. Please leave a review.


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